Well, It's Official

He's reupped. They let the eagle soar. The Marine Band played hail to somebody. Then W solemnly swore to "preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States."

Whoops- I think the bastard has a problem with that part.

The enormous cost, the unprecedented armed presence, and that God forsaken John Ashcroft song felt to me like nothing more than than a giant "fuck you" to the blue states. On the other hand, Chief Justice rehnquist looked dashing in his beret and gold striped robe- and they said Kerry looked French. Anywho- here now is my analysis of the inaugural address.

• After saying "freedom" 27 times, and "liberty" 15 times, I think that Iran, North Korea and Minnesota are on notice- you're getting inva--- errr, liberated.
• He wants to create an "ownership society," (that will get its own article altogether- coming soon) in which home ownership is up, small businesses get started, and investment gets made. Oh, and Enron and Halliburton execs get 8 figure salaries and their legal bills paid by the Board. It's only, fair right?
• Note to Texans- cowboy hats don't cover the ears in the cold.
• After liberating a 100 square block area of Washington, DC, followed by an occupation force of armed guards and snipers on every rooftop, calm has been restored- expect free elections to follow soon (hey, at least they had an exit strategy this time.)

Also, this may have gotten buried under the other news of the day. Shadow President Dick Cheney called in to the Imus in the Morning show yesterday, and said that Israel may act first on Iran. If they are acting "first," that means someone has to act second, right?